📜 Terms & Conditions (abridged)
By connecting to this network you irrevocably agree to:
§1. Grant us the right to rename your firstborn "WiFi."
§2. Accept that "free" means "you get what you pay for."
§3. Acknowledge that the IT support line is a disconnected fax machine from 1997.
§4. Understand that any attempt to bypass this portal will result in a strongly-worded tut.
§5. Consent to your browsing history being printed out and pinned to a community noticeboard.
§6. Agree that
no refunds applies even though you paid nothing.
📄 Full legal document (404 pages — link also broken)